Agony

Despite the fact that I work everyday in a war zone thousands of miles away from my family and friends, my most depressing point this week was somewhere else: the gym.

I stepped into the gym for the first time since getting sick two weeks ago. For the week and and half that I had been bed ridden I hadn't even thought about wanting to get out of bed, let alone lift an arm or a leg. I hadn't eaten the whole time I was sick and I was just able to get food down my palate when I decided it was time to get back to work. I stepped on the scale. I knew it wasn't going to be good, it wasn't. I had lost 15 pounds as a result of the infection and the resulting surgery. I didn't have 5 pounds to spare, let alone 15. My sanctuary was turning on me.

I began my workout and realized from the start that it was back to the basics. I couldn't lift nearly what I had before and it took every ounce of energy I had in me to persist through the sets. What had once been a place of calm, a place to burn off energy and release steam had become a place of perpetual torture and torment, with the weights becoming the tools of the torturer. Needless to say, I did not enjoy the workout.

Update: I am eating persistently now and I can even taste the food, although I am not sure that is an improvement at all. I haven't taken a day off since getting back to work for few reasons, but mainly that I have nothing better to do. My avid reading addiction has been helping to pass the time and my attempt now is to read the top 100 novels of the 20th century before I leave here. I have read 12 so far, but I am limited to the books that are here so I have had to order many to be sent. To keep pace, I have calculated that I must read a book almost every day. For this to be accomplished I am going to need a steady flow of books so I must get on the ball.

Regards,
Nick

P.S.- I am using a list published by the Modern Library, the Board's Choice for guidance on the novels.