This Fragile Life

I am tormented. This will seem like an odd post because I had something serious to say but I couldn't help starting off with a quick little story.

On a trip to Baghdad recently a fellow medic was having a little intestinal problem before and during the trip. Luckily, his medicine held up and we didn't have any issues on the road. When we got to Baghdad we found some transient housing and took a peek inside. There was a bed and one cot. Since I was going to eat and he wasn't feeling well, I offered up the bed to him. When I got back from eating I found my friend passed out on the cot and was confused. Why would someone pass up the bed?

I went to the bathroom and finished getting ready for bed just as the sun was rising over a city ridden with turmoil. Of course this room didn't have any shades so the light was beginning to pour into the space. I contemplated the situation and immediately decided that it was time to get McGyver on this window so I pulled out the essential tools: a towel, a sandal, a carabiner, a key, a paperclip and a gum wrapper. By the time I finished with the window a vampire could have slept peacefully that day (well maybe a few burns here and there). Now it was time for bed.

Ahh. . . a mattress. I laid down my sleeping bag and smoothed out the wrinkles. A t-shirt with socks stuffed inside served as a pillow and I prepared to relax. Everything happened except for the relaxation because as soon as I went to lie down I was immediately sucked into the middle of the mattress. I had effectively become the wiener in the hot dog bun. There was no moving from side to side, there was no moving at all. "Good one Adam, you got me good this time. Really funny", I said out loud as if he could hear me in his sleep.

All I could do was laugh. I tried flipping the mattress over and quickly realized the problem, there were no springs down the middle. You could fold this thing lengthwise (hot dog style for you still needing help visualizing) and I'm pretty sure that's not normal for a mattress. Oh well, I slept through it and woke up with a slightly sore back. As it turned out, Adam had actually decided to let me have the bed and had never tested it out before I fell into that Venus fly trap.

Although stress can be combated, it doesn't mean that it is not happening over here. Being here in general is stressful but the job itself can take a toll on the human psyche.

Events that occurred later on this trip has really thrown a lot of new feelings with inside of me. I know that I am physically and mentally strong but there are some things in life that you just can't shake. You see or feel things that you never want to think about again, yet you know that said occurrence will never go away until the day that you are sleeping eternally.

Everything I have ever thought or said about dealing with stress, time, and just living life to the fullest has risen to it's tumescence. I can honestly say right here, right now that life means more to me than ever before.

I know it's hard to believe but life comes to an end sooner or later, although I prefer the latter. No mortal is perfect and you can never have a full understanding of life, but I thank god today that I am alive and have the life that few on this earth have the luxury to enjoy. I have seen poverty and I have seen death, I never want to take my life for granted again.

With the good comes the bad,
~Nick ~